Pure Joy

Well my friends, the Lord has been faithful again. We have made it to the end of the week, which is 38 weeks of pregnancy. All of my doctors are so pleased that we are at this point. The scans last week were great. Both Echo's look the same as the one done the week before. Friday I had my final sonogram on Friday and Dr. Weiss said that the fluid around his heart that we were concerned about is gone! Thank you Jesus! Holt is a very active kiddo weighing in at 7 pounds 3 ounces and has long legs, which he loves to stretch out on my side and under my rib cage. Oh the joys of running out of room!
This weekend  comes with some bitter/ sweet feelings. Last night we started packing up my room. I never thought I would be so emotional about the thought of being able to leave the hospital but I feel like this place has become my home for the last 8 weeks. Everyday I've had to say good bye to a nurse and some of the doctors that have taken such great care of me. I knew this was only a temporary thing but the wonderful staff here made my stay as enjoyable as possible and I'll just say it. I'm gonna miss this place when we're gone. I'm sure you're thinking that's just crazy talk, but it's weird, 8 weeks is a long time to be anywhere and I finally got a routine down and I feel like it's changing all over again. I know we'll find another route when we get stable in the NICU. But change is just hard. It was hard to adjust to being here, it'll be hard to adjust to the NICU and I know it'll be another adjustment once we get to go to our real home in Tyler.

The other bitter/sweet part to this journey is that we get to finally meet our son, but I know what he is going to have to go through and I have a hard time knowing and knowing there is nothing I can do to make it better. I know it's an early lesson in parenting. I relate very well to music. When I don't have words to express how I feel i can usually find a song that knows exactly what I feel. I have two to share with you. The first is a song from Third Day called " When the Rain Comes"  and it says

It will be alright
No one loves you like I do


I can't stop the rain from falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain, but I will hold you,
I can't stop the rain from falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain, but i will hold you till it goes away

I don't know of a better way to say that to my baby, I can't stop the rain but I can hold him and sit next to him in this storm. I know this is just one of many "storms" in this kiddo's life and isn't that what parents are for? The greatest example we have is our Heavenly Father, he calms the storms, he walked on water and with one word calms our storms.

A good friend of mine shared a song with me by Matt Redman and I feel like it's such a perfect way to end this journey and begin our next journey. It's called "Never Once" and this is the cry and thanksgiving of my heart. It says it in such a perfect way.

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we've come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

 

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You've done

Knowing every victory

Is Your power in us

 

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

 

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

 

 

 

Oh how faithful our God is, yesterday, today and forever! That is and will forever be the cry of my heart and oh how sweet is it going to be to tell this story of God's faithfulness to our son someday.

Thank you for your prayers for our family and walking through this journey with us. I know we are far from through this but I know that we are going to be ok because we have never walked alone.

 

I am planning on having someone in my family update my blog as much as possible.

Right now my c-section is scheduled for  1:30 on Monday and from there we are just praying the Lord will sustain and hold Holt's heart to wait until Tuesday to have the heart cath.

We will keep you posted!

 

Thank you for your prayers!